raw

Ever felt like your insides got hollowed out? Just dug out over and over again until all you're left with is this raw, empty mess?
I very much feel that way now.
It's a strange feeling, awkward in fact, because it's so hard to put a finger to it, pretty much straddled in between okay and not.
It's like I'm just constantly pushing it back into that in between so that there's just zero chance of it fluctuating in any extreme.
Feels like a raw wound constantly being scratched at, it hurts so much it gets numb but it hurts even more, really ironic.



There's so much i need to be doing, so much stuff to clear from the past 2 weeks, that i cant allow even an ounce of that emotional side of me to surface, at all.
Which is really a weirdly familiar feeling, sadly, not in a good way.