Monday, August 30, 2010

Someone could be perfect in your eyes,
but you could fall short of that perfection in theirs.

and that hurts fucking badly, i dont know what love is to me anymore. I used to believe that forever did exist, i used to think that being in love meant accepting the person the way they are, taking in those imperfections in your own eyes and thinking " i still love her". But that's just bullshit. it hurts even more having my gifts returned to me, and here i am stupidly keeping everything because it means so much to me. The one month diary log that i wrote to record every single day of our first month, the blog i've been writing to remember everything we did, each had events i wanted to give it at, our first year, our wedding... I even thought of giving it when we broke up, which i still managed to chuckle and brush it off as impossible. Now there's no point in it at all, it'll just get returned. i will miss all that we once had so badly, i will miss every single thing about you, i will miss how i fell for you, i will miss everything i felt when i was with you... I still think that nobody can ever take that place you did in my heart, which is sad, because now i doubt we'll ever be back together again. I'm keeping all those texts, to remind me that you couldn't accept me because i fell short of expectations. i loved you so much that i couldnt bear to hurt you, but you dint see it. I thought you understood, after all the times i explained, but the things you say and do just show that you don't. You were the best thing to ever happen to be, and i can never bring myself to loathe you like i did the rest. You'd always have a special place in my heart, thank you for all the wonderful memories, thank you for letting me experience everything we had. You caught me at my lowest point in life then, now I'd be here to break my own fall.

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