Thursday, September 30, 2010

Breathe. Let go. Freefall

It's 1 in the morning , i've just washed up and am finally lying on my bed. Save for my desk, my room is in a terrible mess and it is strangely comforting somehow .i have no idea why because the mess around the rest of my house which i am not allowed to touch annoys the hell out of me. But that's besides the point.

I've actually just gotten back from reggae and dance has been on my mind , which ultimately leads me to think about my life in general, as always, but i'll leave that for my sexy little moleskin.

My muscles are aching, i'm tired as hell but god i feel good. I've forgotten how good dancing makes me feel, how weaving in and out of the music, how getting steps right, how adding my own flavour to it.... Makes me so happy. I watch as everyone improves while i'm left behind, i missed gems, i missed suntec and while everyone else is gaining control, flavour growing stronger getting better...i dont know if i've even made a step further than i did in gems 4. That really makes me sad, i know i was made to dance, it doesnt mean i'll be the best dancer , it doesnt mean that im good or will even be good it just means that i feel most at home dancing. I used to do so well in sprints when i was younger, and as i got to secondary school, i became really good with long distances after training for just a short time. But no matter how many people i ran ahead of , how many timings i topped, how many firsts i got, it just never made me as happy as dancing did. And i guess it's the same reason that after being out cold for two months because of my injury, i stopped running but i never stopped dancing.

Money In The Cap is a day away, my third battle this year and the first battle that im going so unprepared. I havent touched hiphop in 2 months, i just hope i dont make much of a spectacle of myself. And for once i hope i can enjoy my battles the same way i do when im in my own world moving to the music... Afterall, im now right at the bottom , i have nothing to lose :)

I've been like a lost sheep, the really stupid kind who gets found by the shepherd and then gets lost again. Countless of times. But no matter who many times i get lost, i just need to know that one day i'll finally recognise my way home :) and that's more than enough.

And the sparrow on weed screeched

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