Thursday, November 25, 2010

these days


The past couple of days have been really tough, to have things just slap you in your face and scream STOP TRYING TO HIDE WITH THOSE SKELETONS. Pretty much everything that was meant to be hidden got discovered and strangely, it is liberating more than it is frightening. And it was really nice to have my mum look at my tattoo and say " at least yours is nice :D " , but that said i've promised i wouldn't get anymore, not in the near future anyway. Heart to heart talks always involve tears, tons of emotions, exasperation and finally love and though i always feel this need to bolt when i feel it coming, i'm always thankful for them.

Things have been changing so much in the past 3 months, before i've settled and cosy-ed into my new state, a wave of change just sweeps me off my feet again. I've grown so used to it, that when it happens all i do is to tell myself to 'breathe, breathe, breathe , it'll be alright'.

But finally, finally, this new start feels right. I've had so many 'new starts', 'new people', 'new thinking' but they were all anchored with this feeling of instability. Like if i were to have a slight tilt, everything would just fall out of tandem and be a mess. In short, i was trying to make believe that 'THIS IS IT' when they weren't. Faux comfort. Now, it really really does feel like it. As though the long and arduous road to the peak of the mountain was peppered with blue roses and baby's breath along the way ;)

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