Wednesday, March 23, 2011

4:45am, I have just stirred awake. Stupid alarm, I'd barely had 2 hours of shuteye and here I am up at my table getting ready to douse myself in more content. The coffee's gone, the muffin's barely touched and my cigarettes nearly depleted, I wish I had coffee now. A cup of mocha frappe and a new box of menthols so I wouldn't have to worry about running out. It's been a couple of days but I already miss a life off tenterhooks , of hours of dance and senseless fun and being allow to just heave and breathe and relax. Lying in bed with or without the one i love and slipping off into a blanket of comfort, that safe little blanket of not much to worry about. Now each day i toss in bed alone, I wimper about stress to the love and i slept that little bit less soundly because at the back of my head, something's just nagging at me. So, I guess this is how it is when you're back to piecing a puzzle, mild irritation at the gaps unfixed, mild headache because that incomplete puzzle is staring back at you and mild joy that gets greater as it slowly tumbles to completion. And euphoria, at the end of it. Getting my ass out of school the first puzzle i'll have to fix, and miles to go before i sleep...

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