"Let it be sufficient to say that, on this night, he was still my lighthouse and albatross in equal measure. The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving. I didn't want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland."
It's all going to be fine, your life will take off and all that happened would remain memories, you'd find someone who fits with you like lock and key, and you will be happy. I know you will :)